Diary of a Novice Triathlete – Day Nineteen

V Cars Diary of a Novice Triathlete

This day was one we missed, so please enjoy the read!

Someone that I used to know…

Day 19

Straddlers. That’s what they call us. The generation of people who grew up before the internet and will die after.

We’re the generation of people who thought the ZX81 bordered on witchcraft. The generation who giggled enthusiastically while, undercover, switched on the red glowing digital numbers of their fathers’ watches.

Today? I sort of feel sorry for kids of today – their creative horizon seems so distant. I was talking to my bright eight-year old daughter Blythe on Tuesday night. We decided that the next step in digital evolution has to be non-remedial surgery: technology built into the human body.

“I can’t imagine that Daddy”, she suggested. “That’s how it always starts Blythe”, I sagely replied.

Why do I mention this? Well, personally and professionally, I’m connected to social media. I’m sure most of you are aware of the concept of Version 2.0. The online representation of ourselves, V1.0 being us. V2.0 being the online Paul – a form of digital schizophrenia which we control.

With that in mind, it’s ironic is it not, that computers are built on binary? Perhaps, instead of some Blade Runner future where robots become human, we’re all really becoming machines.

This is all getting a bit Ronnie Corbett, apologies. Back to the case in point:

What part of Paul V1.0 should he should the online work? What sort of Paul V2.0 should the Novice Triathlete be? What corners of my story should I round off? Am I committed to a happy ending where I break the tape/shore of my VCARS Open Water Swim to the resounding applause of committed triathletes? My story concluding with an incredible against-the-odds success? Or, wouldn’t abject failure and me being dragged from a lake after narrowly escaping drowning be somehow closer to the real me?

I could tell you that training is going well, that I’m on track to post a decent swim time on Sunday August 5th. That I’m controlling my diet, not drinking. Not having three or four cigarettes a week.

What I’m getting around to is a frank admission that Paul V1.0 insists I make: I’ve not exercised since last Friday when I played squash.

Paul V1.0 feels a bit rubbish about it, to be honest, but he’s just found compelling excuses not to exercise ranging from reading his kids Grimm Fairytales to playing FIFA 12 online against his mate in Peterborough. He rented it for the first time last night. “Goodness me,” he said, “I bet glowing digital
watches had no idea their lineage would be so gobsmackingly incredible.”

Hang on a sec. How did V2.0 Paul take over. Sorry, it’s me again. See how that can happen? We’re all living duplicitous lives online.

So, back in the room.

I’ve decided to try and keep V1.0 and V2.0 as closely married as possible. To tell you the truth dear reader – warts, verrucae, misjudged tattoos and all.

Why? Because if V2.0 is the best personal photograph, the funniest one-liner, the most considered musings, the hand-picked friendship group, the lovely pictures of kids, the happy holiday snaps – the most gruelling, debilitating, dehumanising form of censorship – isn’t that a bit much to live up to?

Don’t know about you, but I’ll take V1.0 Paul every day: he’s got a habit of uttering the completely inappropriate, can’t stick to anything, rubbish with money and ostracises everyone but the most tolerant.

The V2.0 Paul might have a nicer smile, a rosier outlook and happier photographs but that’s just not me. I haven’t exercised since Friday night. I’m sorry, alright?

Football tonight, Team GB v Brazil at the Riverside Stadium Friday, Father-In-Laws 80th Birthday Saturday, Fantast League Auction and Drinkathon on Sunday.

Paul V1.0 is going to have to complete this swim on will power as much as physical fitness. Ah well, if he’s struggling, Paul V2.0 can do it. He can do anything.

V Cars proudly sponsor RG Active and are title sponsors of two of the popular RG Active Training Races.

The V Cars Open Water Swim Races: CLICK HERE

The V Cars 10km Off-Raod Runs: CLICK HERE

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