As PR man for VCARS.co.uk (Used Cars, No Fuss), I thought this would be a great way to raise the profile of the VCARS Open Water Swim. I’m hoping readers of this blog feel a certain sense of duty to buy their cars through VCARS.
A very welcome side effect of the Olympics has been a growing distrust, bordering on dislike of what used to the beautiful game. When you see sportsmen and women without the posturing, the vanity and the cheating, it just feels so much closer to the reason humans pursue athletic endeavour in the first place.
I’m hoping the Olympics have ended my love affair with football, in all honesty. I doubt it, football will always be the mistress I’d increasingly like to hide away.
Perhaps, with each stroke, my swim might distance me further from football, from my childhood, from the utter mediocrity that pervades the British football industry. I can only hope.
Straddlers. That’s what they call us. The generation of people who grew up before the internet and will die after.
We’re the generation of people who thought the ZX81 bordered on witchcraft. The generation who giggled enthusiastically while, undercover, switched on the red glowing digital numbers of their fathers’ watches.
I’m just over a week away from the most worrying entry into water since the Israelites walked across the bed of the Red Sea. If I had a pound for every time I was told: “Don’t worry, wetsuits are really buoyant, you’ll be fine”, I’d have enough to ask someone whether that comma was in the right place.
“Come on, you can do this.” “Wow, look at her, she’s just lovely.” “You’re not getting any younger, Paul.” “Alright, stop yelling at me, it’s only a bloody spin class, not the Tour de France.” “Wow, she’s lovely too… oh give over, she’s too young for you.” “Don’t give up, this is where the fitness is earned.” “She could do with losing a bit of timber, but then so could you sunshine.” “Go on, give up, you’ve done enough.” Etc. etc.
Yes, I did put friend in inverted commas. I am strongly of the view that a friend should tell you everything – even the things you don’t want to hear. I don’t want to hear I’ve got a paunch – it robs me of my masculinity, the mirage that I’m still attractive to the to the opposite sex and sense of self-worth.
I intended to run on Friday night but a bit of late work and an early appointment at the school fundraiser ‘QuizMex’ put pay to that. Quizmex combined, for me, flagons of Mexican beers, nachos, chilli, sour cream and the like. The worst possible start to a weekend trying to stay away from temptation – I’ve never been good at that.
From a building fitness point of view, this is the hardest part of my week by a distance. Thursday night football takes as much as it gives. I reckon I cover 5k in ‘sprints’ over the course of an hour and might record it next week. That move would prompt some strange glances from my fellow players.
Apparently, as far as M&S is concerned, the finest ingredients include Dried Potatoes, E450 and Emulsifier: E471, and Anti-Caking Agent Calcium Phosphate, E551. Perhaps when they say finest they actually mean the most finely ground – which I would at least applaud of brazen duplicity.